Eternally Close

His hands were the size of a small child when they reached out to touch those of the warm and kind stranger, but they were worn out, blistered and bruised, and numbed to the touch. Yuui wasn't a child in this situation, and he never really did have a childhood in the first place. He and Fai instead had been treated in scorn as if they were adult criminals and could never be treated or cared for, left to wither away (but never intended to die) in the forsaken valley. But for all this man had to offer, he would take it.

"What is your name?" he asked.

If he was given a second chance to atone for his sins, he would do whatever it took to bring his brother back to life. But for now, as long as Fai was dead, so was Yuui.

"Fai," he croaked, before the world around them morphed from snow and blood to infinite darkness. And before Fai knew it, he had woken up not in Celes as he thought he would, but on a sturdy bed with filtered sunlight streaming in from the window blinds and, to his horror, in Kurogane's tightly locked arms.

It had felt like a cruel and unusual long amount of time for him to remain like that, frozen and unsure what to do, before Mokona interrupt his bedmate's moment of deep sleep and unintentionally spared the mage from many intruding questions and burning stares from Kurogane. Fortunately at that time, the group was all in a hurry to get ready to resume the search for Sakura's feather, and Fai took that time to bury any unsettling thoughts of actually feeling warm and safe in those strong arms of his companion, not to mention wrestle with the torn desires to feel that warmth again when he knew it would be dangerous to get so close to this man.

The games and charades would continue from henceforth, and each time he felt his privacy and innermost secrets being invaded he would use his arsenal of taunts and always made sure he and the other man were never alone for longer than necessary. He noticed that using those inane nicknames were becoming less of a method for inciting fury from the ninja in order to throw him off track; and he hoped it was just a matter of Kurogane becoming habituated to the taunts and not as something the man actually relished in being addressed with. He couldn't understand why Kurogane was so persistent on lifting off each and every layer he had carefully had put on, why Kurogane believed that he was a sort of puzzle piece that needed to be scrutinized in every manner.

Yet in the end, the one thing that disturbed him the most was how quickly he was lulled away from sleep and dreams when the curse of that world forced its victims to fully relive their worst memories. In that case, Fai would have had continued to dream about the devastations in Celes, but then he was cut from that. He'd rather much preferred that he wouldn't revisit moments in that world where he thought he could find solace and a new home, yet in the end only found that he was caught in lies and secrecies and was the one responsible for another mass murder and an insane ruler. Those things frequently visited his mind enough in the waking world. No, the reason why this unexpected early awakening upset him was that it was Kurogane's embrace – which he supposed was unintentional and was on the other man's unconscious part from his own dreams – that woke him up, and that could change many, many things.

No, no matter what happened in worlds to come, Fai must not let him get that close again, whether it was literally be in Kurogane's arms or betray his secrets away.

---

His arms of course were not as big and strong as his father when he was a boy, but they still carried a lot of weight and importance for he was the heir of Suwa and would be the province's next lord and protector. The day Youou started learning to use a sword would be forever cemented in his memories, and with stubbornness and devotion in his blood he sought to become stronger and stronger so that he could fulfill his own vow to protect the people he loved. Over the years he worked diligently in the training field, and when he was old enough to go out in the neighboring villages of the province to stem off the tides of demons attacking and protect the peasants from harm and destruction, he was nothing short of being glad to fulfill his duty. Slowly but surely Youou would grow up to be just like his father whom he idolized as a man and a warrior.

Those same arms failed him in the end. They could only cling onto his mother's body, and with a fury's wrath unleashed in him, he had decimated the rest of the demons that invaded the entire province and killed his father. The immediate losses were etched in the scar running along the palm of his left hand; but the losses would forever be carved in his heart. The pain was too much for him. The loss of his only family and only home were severe, and so when he woke up in a new place and was greeted by the young princess who had saved him, he let go of his given name Youou and started going as Kurogane, his father's name, his father he had grown up hoping to emulate and was so strong and never gave up protecting even in his last agonizing and dying breath.

It was when he started uttering his new name to her that his world was disrupted, and he woke up to the present time with Fai, of all people, locked tightly in his own arms.

Initially he tried to shrug that off as they had important things to take care of that morning to search for Sakura's missing feather in that forsaken world. And yet, even though he was honest to himself that he and the mage were getting closer, he knew that Fai had wished otherwise. Despite that, Kurogane still kept an eye out for those moments the blond slipped, when his facade was falling apart, in order to jab at the idiot to not be an idiot. Somewhere along the lines he had started seeing Fai as only an idiot to one where he's still an idiot, but was hurting all over and torn about whatever was holding him back. It was that realization that had fueled Kurogane to be persistent. Perhaps that was what Tomoyo had wanted for him to learn along the way - to empathize and maybe even care for someone who needed to be cared for, but denied it.

So how then – as he found himself holding Fai, lifeless and blood spilling from an empty socket, in his arms again of all irony – was he furious? All hell had been broken loose. The kid had lost his soul, turned a complete one-eighty, had assaulted Fai and left him on the doorstop of Death, and had left them all, leaving the princess severely heartbroken. What was left of the family no longer existed. It was left hanging on a loose thread and he felt angry and hurt and … helpless. Fai was dying and the manjuu bun was crying to the witch who was even solemn and the devastated princess was asleep and this new kid was standing there probably feeling goddamned sorry for his unfortunate timing and Kurogane was - he was -

He honestly hadn't felt like this since the night he felt so helpless and grief-stricken, watching his mother dying and not being able to do anything. All he did was held her in his arms and screamed and begged for the gods and guardians of Suwa to spare her from Death, but that didn't help and where did that left him? Of all the times the mage had been moronic and tiptoed from battles and closeness with the others, he finally started to break free bit by bit and started to care for Syaoran and Sakura, was perhaps even healing. It was a start, and it was promising. And now all of that had been ripped away from him and he refused to live and Kurogane hated that because it wasn't fair and Fai didn't deserve to die.

No, he can't – he won't let someone close to him get taken away from him again. Kurogane couldn't give a damn. He made a promise somewhere along the way and he was not about to fail that promise, not like last time when he was a frightened child. He would see to it. Fai will live.

"Witch, is there any way to keep him from dying?"

---

'I'm sorry' was the first thing that continuously rang in his head the moment his eye was ripped out and left him with an unsettling feeling of hollowness in more than just his socket. 'Sorry' for not being able to save Syaoran from losing his soul, even though he knew that there was nothing even a powerful mage like him could do to avert disaster. 'Sorry' for being an accomplice in hurting Sakura, the person he had first started to care for and wished for her happiness in spite of his vows never to get close to anyone, and now that Fai had broken that, it had ended in misfortune once again.

'Sorry' for hoping that he thought he could ever think he could get close to anyone, for being - really - a fool for hoping something like that could occur without unleashing misery. 'Sorry' for where this all had led him on the verge of death. Fai had been waiting for this for a long time, but he was 'sorry' because he wasn't ready to die so soon. 'Sorry' to his brother, the real Fai for whom he had set out on this journey to resurrect and atone for his sins of murdering him because now there was no escaping death. Not when Syaoran was roaming on his own in countless worlds and going to wreak havoc on so many of them with his own magic. He was 'sorry' for causing him to get into this trap.

Fai was 'sorry' for ending up in Kurogane's arms, again, in circumstances beyond his control. In his moments of hovering between life and death, barely hearing the chaos being orchestrated in the bottom of the empty reservoir, the blond still felt him being held and protected by the ninja. Another vow had been broken, and if Sakura and Syaoran were the victims of his attempts, he was now fully scared of what would happen to Kurogane. He let himself be tended to by the young doctor, felt the scraping of cotton and stinging of alcohol in his left socket and bandages wrapping over the wounds to preserve his dignity.

He didn't want the pity nor deserve it, and when he heard Mokona wailed at the prognosis of his death, Fai wanted to comfort the tiny companion. 'Sorry', he thought sadly to her. No matter what the dimensional witch had to say in terms of saving his life (or what was a seemingly empty life) he had already determined his fate. There was no going back. 'Sorry', he thought again, for leaving them in this sorry state of mess and actually ready to accept Death that loomed over him.

But then there was a sickening sound of wall crumbling and Fai didn't have to strain to open his eyes to see Kurogane's fury as a trembling fist held him aloft by the collar. He didn't know how to react as the ninja roared at him for treating his life with such worthlessness. It would probably take more fingers than he had available to count how many times Kurogane had reiterated to him the same message over and over. There was no mistaking it. Kurogane was scared. Why?

Of course he knew why, and it hurt. Fai wasn't an idiot to know that somewhere along the way he was someone Kurogane regarded as important to him. The charades, the taunts and name-calling - all of it had turned for the unintended consequences. Instead of turning serious, temperamental and oft-passionate Kurogane away from him and his privies, he had drawn the man closer to him. He was his marked enemy, his opposite in nearly every fashion - an honest, straightforward person who was spared from curses and misfortune who once upon a time had said Fai was the type of person he hated the most. And now, Fai knew with the faint scants of trembling in Kurogane's anger instead of sheer annoyance; the way his head was being supported with strong hands compared to those times of being carelessly strung over a shoulder in contempt; and even the way he felt Kurogane's fingers absentmindedly running through his hair that maybe, just maybe, he was never hated all those times.

The thought nearly made him cry.

"I'm sorry," Fai chose to say at last, waiting to die. Too late, it was too late and perhaps he could die knowing he was cared for.

It turned out those wouldn't be his last words, and it wouldn't be again for a very long time. One moment Kurogane was holding onto him, angry devastation swimming in red eyes. The next, red blood in pools of droplets cascaded down into Fai's parched mouth to salvage his life. His body reacted to the change immediately and it was so painful that he couldn't properly wail.

Was coming back to life supposed to be this painful? A flicker of golden eye met red, and it was clear that Kurogane was silently telling Fai that forgive or unforgiving be damned and that the ninja was dead set on following through with the vampire business.

Yes, it was, he thought bitterly. Kurogane had crossed the boundary, and if there ever was a way for them to be dangerously close with each other, it was this. He's the vampire and Kurogane's the prey, and in that dynamic he would depend on the warrior for his blood. How cruel, because it could be the other way around. Fai could choose to ignore feeding, but now he knew the true extent of just how much Kurogane would not let this all go. Kurogane's the dependent one here, insisting he stayed alive. And for what? The man's an idiot, too, for putting them both in this trap. Why, why did he go through that decision that would inevitably connect them?

He had to do something. He had to be in control of something, and if Kurogane wanted to control his own god forsaken life, then he would control just how much he would react around the man. He wouldn't forgive Kurogane, for if he did he wouldn't forgive himself. It was just as he had feared in that world – they had gotten dangerously closer. He didn't know he had crossed the lines as well until the moment Kurogane had made that wish of his. It was something that should had never happened in the first place, and it was his fault for dragging the other man into this.

'I'm sorry,' he mourned as sleep overwhelmed him, for causing Kurogane to care for him this way, and for him to return the feelings.

'I'm sorry,' he wanted to say when he woke up. 'I'm sorry,' was what he wished to express through his smile, but couldn't. 'Sorry' for putting them through this, 'sorry' for running away again. 'Sorry' for destroying as much as he could even though he knew Kurogane wanted to be close to him just as much he desperately wanted to as well.

But he wasn't 'sorry' for what he was going to say and do because it was the right thing.

"Good morning, Kurogane."

---

"…Kurogane."

It was what he only heard. Kurogane.

How ironic, he thought, that for the mage to address him in such a manner one would in a term of endearment without the usage of honorifics. It was far from it. 'Kuro-rin', 'Kuro-tan', 'Kuro-sama' – hell, even 'Big Puppy' were all botchers of his name and nothing more than just annoying nicknames, but they were still something and maybe as close to endearments as he could get. And now, of all the ways the calm man could have put a distance between them, he had used 'Kurogane' as the main weapon to destroy just precisely everything they had between them. It was quick, cold, and to the point, and it stung.

If this had happened earlier in the journey, he would have cursed at the idiot and his damn smile, would have put his hands around the mage's slender wrists (or even neck) and wring them for good measures. Or maybe he would have smirked in satisfaction that the blond had addressed him with his full name and encouraged him to keep it that way.

But he didn't react either way. He couldn't, so instead, he tossed a blanket at him and walked away.

Because the realization that he couldn't even react angrily or with violence showed that Fai meant so much to him and that he treasured their relationship despite all of its fragility and complexity, even regarded it as something precious to him. Like any important figure that was treasured and, therefore, was rendered vulnerable to outside attacks and assassination attempts; like any guardian that sworn and promised to protect the person that is precious to him and the land, Kurogane had stepped in to do more than just protect Fai, the idiot, from losing his life several times. Maybe it started in Outo when the mage got injured, or maybe it even started in Koryo when they fought the possessed witch in the deadly battlefield, but somewhere along the way he had taken it upon himself to push Fai to move on, to breathe, and before he knew it he started to care.

No, he now understood with heavy certainty, more than just care, and it's because of that that Fai had claimed this and everything they had going on as the most critical and vulnerable thing to attack, ripping it all asunder and let everything Kurogane had done for him, had still wanted to do, go in vain. He knew that it was too much to ask for Fai to forgive him for going against his wish to save his life. That much he knew. But he didn't know that this would happen, that even though Fai was very much alive and running on his own blood, the blond would cut off all connections and treat whatever they had going on as something that was dead and must be buried and hidden away. It shouldn't be as painful as if he was actually dead, but this…

This hurt just as much.

Did he regret his decision at all? No. Did he know that his new responsibility for Fai's life would be difficult? Of course. But – a promise was a promise, and he would never bow out of those he had made and sworn he would commit to. So if the vampire wished to put up a fight, he would fight back. Kurogane refused to admit defeat and let all of those efforts go to waste. He was a warrior, a stubborn one at that, and he would still fight for what he wanted. For as long as he could remember, it had been to get stronger with no end in sight. Now he would fight to save whatever was left of them. No matter how hard it would be, no matter how painful it would get, he would see to it. Fai wanted to not be close. Kurogane wanted to be.

It would only prove to be one of the most frustrating battles he'd ever participate in.

The first thing he had to ensure was the safety of the overall group, one that was no longer the same as before and would never be. Each of them had been broken and had been left shattered, waiting for their pieces to be picked up and put back together. But the cracks and slips were there, and Kurogane felt them for the past few months they had been stuck in this shady world known as Infinity. How fitting the name was, he thought bitterly, as he sat down by himself for the evening on their flat's couch, drinking one more cup of strong alcohol. Nothing was certain anymore, and they were all pit towards a far more dangerous path at this point. There were wounds that were sustained on the tournament battlefield – and then there were wounds that still bled long after each successful victory, and nobody but Kurogane knew that better as he was still nursing a fresh one on his wrist.

Bleeding was nothing to someone like him. He had suffered worse injuries before, and so opening a small portion of his flesh for the idiot to drink off of him was really nothing. But it's how cold the mage would greet him, how sullen his face and golden eye were before he gave that sickening smile and murmured that damn 'Kurogane' before lapping off blood pooling from his wound. There was nothing going on beyond predator and prey, and Fai made sure to keep it at that level after licking off the last bit with his tongue and said 'Good night, Kurogane' or something equally irritating that riled him. No matter what, Fai always made sure to toss in his name for good measures, and Kurogane hated that. Hated that more than all of those past charades and facades the blond had put up in the past, hated that because Fai was doing nothing more than digging a further trench and just hurting themselves more. Long after the forced feeding was done and the mage excused himself for the night, the bleeding still went on.

How was it, he laughed sourly, that such a strange and perverse form of physical intimacy that both were a part of an eternal contract could equally be a design where they could be fully apart like never before? He drank some more, and as much as he detested himself for wallowing and turning into alcohol, it continued like that for the rest of the time they stayed in Infinity. Kurogane even thought that at the very least things couldn't get worse, and that even if something were to happen, he would do something about it.

It was precisely what happened when the mage was possessed and took the boy's sword, ramming it through the princess. And never had Kurogane seen such honest pain and broken spirit in Fai until then.

---

Running was the only thing he could do after he had sealed his king away for a deep sleep. Running was one of the few things he could have control over in spite of what fate and his strict mission had in store for him. Fai had to run away, run from the present things that demanded for his attention. But he could have never, never run away from his guilt of cutting his brother's life so soon, for causing two rulers to become insane that resulted in the deaths of countless innocent people. Perhaps the surest thing that he wasn't running away from all this time but was in fact running towards was Death.

He didn't expect for Death to make his appearance when a curse caused his own magic to involuntarily begin the destruction of the world around them, nor did he expect for Death to reign in everyone else he had come to love and treasured. As he felt his life draining incrementally owing to his magic being used to sustain the collapsing of Celes, Fai wondered if this was the final punishment for him, cruel as it may be especially since he had just recently discovered that his brother had wished for him to be free all along.

Freedom, what a beautiful concept, he thought. Freedom to live, freedom to be happy, freedom to love, but it was something that could never be granted to him at this point, and now he was accepting his fate.

But he would not accept denying the others their lives and freedom. After everything that had happened – for better or for worse – Fai could not let them suffer at his own expense. And so, as he poured as much strength and magic as he could to release Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona first, he would make sure that they will live so he would know that at the very least nothing terrible would happen to them long after he died. His body rattled in pain and fatigue, but he fought to ignore it because now he had to do the same to Kurogane. He mustered up the remaining ounce of magic he had left within him to free the man who had harangued him, yelled at him, even threatened to harm him if needed be, but most of all the man he had never wanted to harm, never wished to hurt.

His magic failed him, and to his horror, Fai realized that he could do no more to save the warrior. No, he protested, this wasn't supposed to happen! He never wanted Kurogane to die with him, never wanted the person he felt the closest to since his own precious brother had been taken away from him to lose his freedom when he had so much more going for him. And it pained him to see Kurogane struggling still, believing there was still a way for both of them to escape, when Fai knew there was nothing much he could do to save the person he knew was important to him.

Even when a hole had pierced the sphere that trapped them and Kurogane tried in vain to drag him out to no avail, it hurt him.

Why, he wanted to know, was Kurogane still trying to save him? After all he had done, teased him, tormented him, lied to him, pulled him in and even pushed him away these past few months, why wouldn't Kurogane let him go? Fai couldn't bear to have Kurogane die in vain trying to save him, and the thought that the warrior still cared for him and wanted to do everything in his power to help him caused more pain and sorrow than joy and relief. Fai had given up so many times, but Kurogane – he never had, and that was the most excruciating difference between them. Kurogane never did in Tokyo or Infinity or all those other times beforehand. So now, the mage thought, in spite of everything, he wished Kurogane would finally learn to give up.

"Go!" he urged, and he tried so hard to ignore the pained look Kurogane gave at his dying request.

Fai learned that when one was waiting to die that it was for the best that he made his last thoughts be known and resolve any bitter conflicts so that he could move on to the next life with a clear conscience and no regrets tainting his soul. And so, Fai thought of the things he hoped Kurogane would understand someday and reflected at how the warrior gave so much to him all those times in spite of knowing he shouldn't have deserved them. Blue eye locked on red ones, wishing to impart Kurogane with blessings on his dying breath.

I'm sorry, he wanted to say, but please, give your support to someone else who deserves it more than I ever could.

I'm sorry, he mourned when Kurogane finally let go of his hand at last. I'm sorry that we couldn't be close, not matter how much you and I wanted it. Goodbye, Syaoran-kun. Goodbye, Sakura-chan. Goodbye, Mokona. Goodbye … Kuro-

To his utter horror, Kurogane had instead brought his sword high into the air and swung it down so swiftly that his arm fell off in one sweeping motion. Fai sat there, stunned, as he witnessed the other man writhe his face in pain and yet ignored it to haul Fai up and out of the sphere with his remaining arm to hold him close like never before, blood fiercely spraying in the chaos of wind and destruction. He didn't – Kurogane didn't have just –

"Kuro-sama!"

He screamed as the familiar whirl of Mokona's magic surrounded them and he saw the warrior, who had just done something extraordinary to save his life again, fall into a quick state of unconsciousness. Tears poured out of his good eye, and he wept openly as he pushed a hand against the critical wound and wrapped his other arm around Kurogane. He quickly brushed his hand over the other's chest and could still faintly feel his heart beating away steadily and earnestly, but it was just barely there. Many times in the past, Kurogane had held him unwittingly. This time, he would hold on to the wounded ninja and vowed to never let him go, even though he was dying.

Travelling was as fast as any other time, but he felt like time was agonizingly slow, time was being wasted as Kurogane remained so lifeless, and it hurt because he didn't know where they would end up. What if they landed in another dangerous world, or one where no medical attention could be sought? Was this – he wept – was this how much Kurogane was hurting when he was dying in the post-apocalyptic world? Was this how desperate the ninja was when he held on to Fai in strong arms? Of course that how it was, and now Fai painfully understood what the other must have gone through. But Kurogane had the choice and the power to save his life and Fai didn't. What good could he do except for pressing a hand over the wound when already Kurogane had lost so much blood? He could never perform healing magic. And just when Kurogane had risked his life to free Fai there was a new chance for them to start over. But all of that – none of that mattered when Kurogane was dying for his freedom and happiness, just like his brother and his king had.

"Fai-san..." He heard the teenager's voice, but he couldn't respond. Fai just stayed there, frozen and numb and screaming inside until suddenly something touched his cheek and cupped it and he then saw violet eyes that looked so, so familiar.  

"Do not worry," the graceful young woman who could only be Tomoyo, Kurogane's princess, said. He found it so hard to breathe and yet there was something so calm and all-knowing and reassuring in her voice.

"Kurogane will not die."

How? Fai wanted to ask, but his throat hurt too much to speak. She, however, picked up his cues.

"Because he wants to live just as much, and so, Kurogane will live," Tomoyo emphasized. And true to her words, Kurogane had been transferred to a gurney and a team of doctors and even women in impressive robes (healers perhaps) immediately tended to him.

Oh how he wanted to be strong and believed her words would be true. Did he dare to hope for something good out of his own desire this time? Perhaps, he thought, although it wasn't easy. But for Kurogane, he would try. And so, if Kurogane did end up being alright, and if he was truly free from the chains that had bound him for so long, he would live.

Live to start anew and be close with Kurogane at last.

---

The first time Kurogane woke up in Shirasagi Castle, he had no home, no family to go back to. Tomoyo was the first person he let himself get attached to after painfully coming to grips with his devastating losses, and as a result he knew that he wanted to join the ranks of the castle's ninja army in order to serve her, for he was in debt to her in more than many ways. At the same time, Kurogane was also cunning and had enlisted to become one of the best warriors in Nihon in order to reinsert his sheer strength in the belief that he would be stronger so that someday he could prove that nothing could ever bring him down, nothing could ever frighten him to where he wasn't able to protect his most precious people. Yet somewhere along the way he had lost sight of what had driven him to become strong in the first place.

As he sat there on his infirmary bed, contemplating and holding his good hand over his maimed shoulder, Kurogane now understood why Tomoyo had sent him away. It was more than just to fulfill his part in what destiny had in store for him. More so she had probably seen Fai in her dreams, and perhaps had known just how much Fai needed him –how much he needed Fai. The warrior still held some grudges over an inane concept that hitsuzen determined pretty much what would happen and even what they would choose to do. Hell, the Kurogane of the past would have seethed in anger knowing that he would end up giving up blood, his freedom, even his strength to the blue-eyed mage that he could never ignore. The Kurogane of the past, who had been exiled from his world, would have been stubborn and defied fate and chose something else. But Kurogane was no longer like that, and even if it meant his strength had been whittled down quite significantly, he didn't lament over that.

Instead, he didn't regret it at all. And if it was the only way he could ensure Fai would live and be free to be happy, he would do it all over again.

He was going to make sure that Fai would accept it, but when his princess invited the blond inside, he grew hesitant. The mage walked in, wearing what was undoubtedly a furisode. His head was bent – part out of respect to Tomoyo whose grace was present in the entire room, and part out of something even Kurogane could not discern. It wasn't as if he was scared or something the like, far from it. He just wasn't sure how Fai would react to his sacrifice at all, and if the blond had sabotaged what they had in that forsaken world was any indication, Kurogane was prepared for another huge blow as well. And yet, he would still let his intentions be known as he exchanged a good, long and silent eye contact with Fai.

"Oi," he said, and he felt his heart beating unexpectedly faster as he waited for the other's reaction. Kurogane had expected words, most likely unpleasant ones.

What he got instead was a punch to his head that caught him off guard so hard that he fell back. Placing a hand over where he had been hit, he stared back rather dumbfounded, but saw there was no malice in Fai's eye at all. On the contrary, there was something new around the edge of his mouth, and when it curled into a tiny smile, it felt genuine, and Kurogane suddenly found the urge to catalogue that away in the corner of his head because it wasn't stupid or anything like that at all. It was…nice.

"That was payback, Kuro-sama."

Oh, he did not just say – "I'll beat you up, you bastard," Kurogane fired back in a heartbeat. But there was no mistake. Fai said it. 'Kuro-sama', not 'Kurogane' like as of late, and it oddly thrilled him in such way that he found himself smiling back as well like an idiot, but that's okay because it just felt right.

"I shall now leave the two of you alone," Tomoyo announced. She smiled, and if he wasn't mistaken there was something mischievous twinkling in her eyes as she left the room. He would deal with that later, but for now, he turned all attention back to the mage who was still standing there, moonlight seeping in from the windows and highlighting his entire figure. Suddenly, he wasn't sure what to do or say, and he wondered if he could blame that entirely on the fatigue his body was still battling with after losing so much blood.

"…Sit," he finally said, and Fai did without any defiance. Besides, it looked like he had so much weighing on his mind that he wanted to say. But that's alright, because honestly Kurogane still didn't feel much like talking on his end and even though he thought Fai was annoying all those times for babbling incessantly he just wanted to hear him talk. He then realized how much he even missed hearing Fai talk.

"Kuro-sama, I…" The blond stopped for a moment and Kurogane swore he saw him blinking back tears, but he just let him be. All he wanted was honesty and so if those were honest tears he would let Fai cry even though he wasn't sure how he could directly comfort him. Fai cleared his throat rather awkwardly.

"Kuro-sama, I thought you were going to die."

Of course not, idiot, why would I… He then had to stop himself from saying something along the lines of that because he fully understood that cutting off his arm without batting an eye would be terrifying to Fai, who had thought he had killed Sakura, saw his king fall, and watched his brother rest in peace at last. And so he let Fai continue as needed, because for once he felt glad that the mage was no longer holding back.

"So I couldn't bear the thought of losing someone again because of being with me or getting closer. And the thought of losing you because of you wanting to save me, I…" Fresh tears leaked out again, and Fai paused.

"Don't you see?" Fai whispered. "If you had died, I would have died."

How strange, Kurogane thought as he instinctively lifted his good hand to brush away the tears on Fai's face, because that's how I felt, too – back in Celes. Fai, who looked so scared, yet so resigned to his fate. Fai, who Kurogane desperately did not want to lose, and in the end had sacrificed his strength in order to save his most important person. Fai, who was now there, alive and hurt, but healing, and was now bringing a hand up to hold the one Kurogane had on his face.

"I made a promise," the warrior said. "I don't know when or where, but I made one." It was a promise to see to it that Fai would live, be free from his burdens and live in the present. "And besides, idiot, if I want to live, I will fight to live. If I want others to live, then hell, I will fight to have them live. Because in the end, I know I have kept my vow to protect those precious to me."

Fai choked on a few more tears, but he smiled nevertheless. "Kuro-sama…" he said again, speechless, and this time, Kurogane knew all was forgiven.

He was glad, because he was getting sleepy again. It was a wonder he could keep his composure at this rate because he wasn't sure how much better things between them (no longer just he and Fai, them) were going to get. After all the waiting, after all he put in to keep up a fight to never let them go, they had won.

"Hey," he said again, this time absentmindedly running his fingers through blonde hair. "I'm getting sleepy again. So, uh…" It was now or never "Stay. With me."

He of course meant more than just staying with him for the night, and when Fai smiled and lied down and he invited the mage to lie close to him, he knew Fai had understood. He knew that there were still many hurdles left to overcome with Syaoran, but for now, he felt happy, and it was the most wonderful kind of happiness.

A long time ago, Fai and Kurogane had shared a bedroom in a world where they were forced to relive their worst memories in the forms of vivid nightmares. Each had woken up discovering something about their growing relationship. Fai was afraid to get closer while Kurogane continued. Tragic circumstances arose that caused their connection to crumble, but after much patience and devotion, they had come back stronger like never before. And now, as they lied together peacefully, content and blissful in each other's arms with nothing holding them back, they were close with each other.

Eternally.